


On Call

by ryuwatanabe



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 08:08:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15166322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryuwatanabe/pseuds/ryuwatanabe
Summary: On call ~ The promise behind unspoken word…The silent vow to always be there despite of not being there. Unuttered strong feeling to care and protect that across the boundary of word, time and distance…that’s truly definition of on call.Since 180 days Junmyeon’s leave to Italy, Luhan had countless sleepless nights of being On Call. Testament for his own heart, he never get tired of waiting for Junmyeon despite there was probability he might break his own heart even more.I'm happy to love you...always....Would Luhan’s feeling, wish and inspiration reach into other's heart?





	On Call

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel of curtain. After more than one year, I finally have a courage to finish this off. I actually freak a lot to execute in writing On Call, but yeah finally...I hope I did justice to beautiful song, on call;

 

 

_My feet like stepping on the sand,_

_Swamped in that summer with you._

 

A soft, gentle summer breeze murmurs something right into his ears, whispering a song of melancholy, full of untold memories. Lu Han closes his eyes as he indulges himself more, listening to the beautiful white noise that nobody could hear, that only he, himself could hear. A small sigh escapes from his mouth as he let himself drowning into whispering breeze. There is something alluring behind the soft murmur of ocean wind, that makes Lu Han wants to hear from it for more.

Lu Han remains in that state of tranquillity for some time, stands still there alone, in the middle of the shoreline. He just lets the shy ocean wave gently grazes his bare foot, as it swipes the white sand and slowly return back to ocean. He just loves the sensation of ocean wave on his skin. It tingles, but there is unspoken softness of the sea wave, as if it tried to sooth and calm his restless soul. Occasionally, he takes a deep breath, inhaling the usual scent of summer beach that permeates the air. It’s endearingly salty, but Lu Han just loves it the most.

And, the endless ocean wave is like his own memory with certain someone, that keeps flipping back to him….This is the same beach where he had met Junmyeon for the very first time, almost six years ago.

 

 

 

_Lu Han was in his own merry way, just enjoying the carefree walk besides the sea shore. From far away, he shouldn’t have notice the small figure who stepped mindlessly into the sea, but the fate did the miracle thing because Lu Han somehow did. The small figure is total stranger to him, Lu Han reminded himself, he shouldn’t mind other people business, but there was other thought pondered into him that said, the other guy probably intend to take his own life. In that fleeting moment, he run toward the guy without hesitation._

_“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Lu Han asked, almost scowling, once he got a hold on the stranger. The water level almost reached the level of his nose. Lu Han wondered what would happen if he was another second late._

_“Huh..?” The other guy didn’t exactly reply, but he looked dumbfounded as well. It was just for a while before he came to his sense. Lu Han wasted no time dragging the other to safety._

_“Yah, you dumbass, you almost drowning yourself!!” Lu Han scolded the guy once more time once they reached the shore. He placed the other down and flop himself exactly next to him._

_“I’m sorry for the trouble…I also didn’t know what exactly I was doing…” the stranger finally mumbles._

_Lu Han’s heart softened a bit after hearing the other’s voice. “What do you mean?” he asked._

_“I don’t know…” the stranger answered, uncertain. “It’s just that…I felt like, as if I had been pulled toward it by certain whisper and I just followed it. Before I even realise it, I almost drown myself.” He explained. “Thank you for saving me…”_

_The stranger smiled to him. Lu Han didn’t get any chance to have proper look to the shorter male’s face before, but now he had. The stranger was actually blind, but other than that, he was perfect behind the imperfection. White porcelain skin, small pointed nose, well rounded eyes and gentle, thin lips graced his visages. Lu Han really can’t tear off his eyes from the other. But Lu Han wondered what was there behind that bitter smile, that seemed to hide heart break and unspoken pain. The smile that didn’t sit well on his graceful face. The mere thought of it made Lu Han decided, from that moment, he wanted to change it._

_“I might be a stranger to you, but, please love yourself…” Lu Han trailed off. His words came out a bit weird, even to his own ears and he didn’t know why he said that kind of thing to a complete stranger. Just maybe, he wanted to protect the other even before he knew it. “I’m Lu Han by the way,“ he introduced himself._

_“I’m Junmyeon....Kim Junmyeon. Can I…can I touch your face, Lu Han?” Junmyeon timidly asked._

_The request sound a bit odd, but nevertheless, Lu Han easily complied, as he brought Junmyeon’s hands to cradle his face. Junmyeon’s face was full of concentration, as his delicate fingers trailed every corner of his face, they lingered on his skin a bit longer than expected. Lu Han presumed, Junmyeon wanted to remember his face by his own little way._

_“Thank you for saving me, Lu Han…”_

_For the first time, he saw Junmyeon genuinely smile, and he looked breathtakingly beautiful under the soft glow of evening sunset._

_Perhaps, on that day, God had decided to send someone to him, for him to protect by his own life. He didn’t know Junmyeon’s past, but he decided to offer his present and future to Junmyeon._

Over the years, Lu Han has learnt many things about Junmyeon but he feels like he knows only a little. The younger guy doesn’t open up to him that easily at first, but Lu Han believes that patience is the key. Everything needs time. He learns from his younger brother, Jongin, that Junmyeon had tragic car accident few years ago. He went into comatose stage for several days and had lost some of his memory, or perhaps he wants to lose certain part of his memory but unable to get rid off them. Lu Han realizes that Junmyeon, although doesn’t talk much about his past love, still holds into it and seems refuses to let it go. He understands the void of feeling that Junmyeon feels, that why he never pushes Junmyeon or further more to confess his feeling.

And as the years pass by, they share so many memories together. Gyeongpo beach, and its sunset, have witnessed it over the years their shared moments – how lovingly Lu Han holds Junmyeon’s hand to guide the other, how secretly Lu Han add ‘Loves’ in between their names written over the sand, or simply collecting the most beautiful corals.

Time doesn’t really heal Junmyeon’s heart, but at least Lu Han knows that, Junmyeon can genuinely looks happy when ever he spends his time with him at beach in every summer.

 

 

Lu Han slowly opens his eyes back. The horizon in front of him is just spread open – taking various shades of oranges, as the evening sun shyly kisses the skyline, as if it returned to its resting place. For a while, he admires the scenery just before him, because the reflection of sun set on the calm water with the dark shadow in between is really something to behold.

But then Lu Han realizes that, the beautiful scenery of the summer beach is meaningless, because Junmyeon is no longer with him. The person he used to share every moment of summer beach is on the other side of the world. Today, Lu Han is here alone….

Lu Han bends down a bit, attempting to take the tiny foams of sea water. They don’t last longer in his cupped hand. Soon they return into the widest ocean, silently into nothingness. But Lu Han satisfied. At least, they listen a bit to his silent longing that locks inside his heart. Lu Han wonders, if at this particular moment, Junmyeon was doing the same thing as he did. Did the other miss him as much as he does? Or did the other remember him as much as he does in his silent pray? Lu Han just wants Junmyeon to be happy, even if that person didn’t mean to be him.

The last image of Junmyeon at Incheon airport just before his departure is played like a roller coaster in his mind.

_“I’ll be missing you, Junmyeon…”_

_“Me to….”_

_“You know…If you ever need me, just give me a call…I’ll always be there for you”_

_“I’ll do that. Thank you for everything, Lu Han..”_

 

“I really miss you, Junmyeon. Why didn’t you give me any call?” Lu Han mumbles into nothingness, that only the ocean wave could hear. “You know, I’m always on call for you….”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Milan; 18 th April, 11. 30 pm

 

**“Good morning everyone. I’m Yoona lim, your host for ‘Kick The Morning’. I will be with you guys for the good two hours. Today, 19 th April we have special guest with us….”**

Junmyeon pays no particular attention to the radio show. The cheerful voice from the radio car reverberated across the space of the confine car, accompanying the otherwise silent journey to their apartment. Chanyeol was concentrating on wheel, and Junmyeon really has no idea what to talk. Junmyeon really lets every word that comes from the host slips off from his mind until ---

**“Any guess for our guest today? Pardon…once again…I can’t really hear you guys…Ahh, yeah…our super handsome, Lu Han…”**

The mentioned of that particular name rang into his ears. Junmyeon feels like his heart has been shaken by wave of mixed emotion. He feels goose bump.

_It’s Lu Han…_

**“As we all know, Lu Han just releases his new album this summer. Lu Han-shi, what do you think about your new album?”**

**“My new album is called ‘Imagination.’ It has many new flavour and colour in it. I also actively participate in the making of the album, so I gain many new experiences. Along the way, there are still so many new things that I have to learn but it is fun. The album kinda give more mature vibe, and most of the lyrics are more meaningful than my previous albums. ‘Imagination’ reveals the other side of me. So, I hope this album will receive a lot of love from you guys. “**

**“Ahh, our Lu Han-shi works hard for this album. Let give him a lot of love. By the way, I heard that, there is special song in ‘Imagination.’ Is that true?”**

**“Yes, and it’s called ‘On Call.’”**

**“Do you mind to share a bit with you fan, what makes ‘On Call’ special compares to the rest of the album? Is there anything personal behind the song?**

**< …………………….>**

**< laugh sound>**

**“I dedicate this song to somebody special in my life, who is currently far away from me. I hope you’re doing fine there. Did you already have your dinner? Are you sleeping well, right now?….”**

Lu Han sounds genuinely concern. Junmyeon’s heart squeezed enough to choke him a bit. There is something stirring up inside him after hearing Lu Han’s voice. Lu Han is not even here with him right now, but it feels like, as if he was here, with him, talking directly to him.

 _I already had my dinner, thank you Lu Han_ , Junmyeon mutters to himself.

Junmyeon’s knuckles squeeze his knees hard that they go white. Tiny drops of tears start to well up at the corner of his eyes.

**“I want you to know that I’ll always on call….”**

Junmyeon never realises that, Lu Han has always been kind and patient to him. His pure dedication is irreplaceable. He has been selfish all these years to even realise how selfless, and kind hearted Lu Han is as human being. He has been blinded by his own self and his past, little that he considers others. He has been inconsiderate toward Lu Han.

His breath hitch, he knows he is going to sob in shame and regret.

 

**“On Call sound so simple. But seem it is special song for you, you probably define on call in different way. So, Lu Han-shi, how do you define on call? Do you have any different point of view?”**

**< sigh sound>**

**“On call sound simple, but it conveys so many emotions. For me, on call is…to see even without having to look, to hear even without having to listen, to feel even without having to touch, and to understand even without word….because being an absolute on call is to always be there despite of not being there…”**

Junmyeon can no longer contain his emotional outburst, as tears of waterfall stream down his cheeks. This is too much to hold, this is too much handle. _Lu han is idiot…idiotically too kind for his own good._

 

**“Owh, wow…I’m mesmerized. I never know that it can be this deep and beautiful….”**

**< clapping sound>**

**“Thank you for your thought with us, Lu Han-shi. Ah, before I forgot, tomorrow is going to be Lu Han’s birthday. Happy birthday in advance Lu Han-shi. Well, today is very special too because Lu Han is going to sing his song live here. Without further ado, let listen to ‘On Call’ from Lu Han…”**

**“Thank you…This is for you, ‘On Call’”**

 

_Never let you fall,_

_I’m always on call,_

_The promise for you will never change_

_The care for you will never be forgotten_

_Just likes being separated by the times difference of pacific_

_I will always be with you_

_When ever you need_

_I’m always on call….._

 

Junmyeon listens to the song, every word, every accentuation of the instrument, the wave of melody till the very end. Lu Han’s gentle voice sounded humming straight in to his ears. Devastatingly beautiful, but sad, all at the same time. Lu Han is _so cruel, so cruel_ to make him cry helplessly. Lu Han _is so cruel, so cruel_ to keep his feeling all by himself.

Junmyeon couldn’t even describe the emotion that dwell inside him. Word won’t do justice. But, all he knows that…he really misses every single thing about Lu Han. He wants to be in Lu Han’s arm. _He wants to return home._

“Chanyeol…I really miss Lu Han…Can we…” Junmyeon finally blurts out in between his sobbing mess, long after unbreakable silence between him and Chanyeol. Words stuck in his throat to even complete the sentence into decent one, but Chanyeol quickly takes the hint…

“I know…I understand….”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Baekhyun is totally not wrong when he once said that Lu Han is a hopelessly romantic type of guy despite his cold, nonchalant facade. He is a type of guy who never say cheesy thing, despite in his mind full of poetic phrase, just awaiting to be channelled outside.

_“You like Junmyeon hyung, right?”_

_“I don’t know what you are talking about….”_

_“You can pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about…but I know…”_

_“Stop talking no sense…”_

_“You can deny all you want, you can act as if you didn’t care, but your eyes never tell lie, Lu Han hyung. The way you look at Junmyeon hyung, I can see it with my own eyes, that you really like him…”_

_“Mind your own business!!!”_

 

Despite of being mischievous, loud, noisy and lack of filter, Byun Baekhyun is seriously a guy full of sense. In between his non stop talking and continuous teasing, his eyes are sharp and observant. Lu Han isn’t sure how Baekhyun is able to do that, being hyperactive and at the same time caring about other people, but he concludes that the younger guy is naturally perceptive.

Lu Han is holding a glass of wine, aimlessly swirls the golden coloured liquid and the ice cube. He blankly stares at content of the glass, as they move back and forth according to the movement of the swirl, before finally gulping down the liquid.

Baekhyun words and their argument several months ago echoed right into his ears. He notoriously stopped the argument by giving the ultimate answer ‘mind-your-own-business’, because hell, Baekhyun was very right, right from the start and he was such a coward. Lu Han doesn’t like it when people get to know his feeling, because he thought that is the most vulnerable part of him. So, his reaction came out rude before he even realised it.   


It’s almost 12 midnight, with few second left, Lu Han notices as he glances the clock hanging on the wall. His own song, ‘On Call’ is played, accompanies him throughout his restless thought. He can’t sleep. He has sleepless night almost every day since the past six months, but tonight, he thinks, he purposely doesn’t want to sleep. He wants to wait for someone, even though there is probability he might break his own heart even more….He wants to believe that, there is still miracle along the way, he doesn’t want to lose the hope.

 

_Got me caught up (those night which I don’t wanna fall asleep)_

_Got me caught up (and I can’t put my phone down. No)_

_I don’t believe our stories (have to stop here)_

_You’re destiny in my life, yeah (Your sound will never be forgotten)_

In the middle of his deep thought, ‘curtain’ song resonated from his phone. He sets it as a special ring tone for Junmyeon. He listens to ‘curtain’ almost every day, but this is the first time he heard ‘curtain’ as a ring tone. He immediately picks the call up. Almost stumble along the process.

“Hello..”

“Hello, is this Lu Han hyung?…” a husky voice greets him. Lu Han frowns a bit, disappointed, when he realises it is not Junmyeon.

“Yeah, that’s me…who’s that?”

“It’s Chanyeol. Hyung, can you please open up the door?” There is urgency in Chanyeol’s voice, but why? What is there to be fussed about? Lu Han feels bewildered for a while, because everything happens out of sudden. Too many things puzzle inside him in that short amount of time, but he decides it’s waste of time to think about it right now. So, he rushes toward the door.

A tall lanky man appears in front of him once he opens the door. His eyes try to search for another small frame, because the atmosphere obviously awkward with only him and Chanyeol. “Hi Lu Han hyung…” chanyeol greets him as he rubs his nape; as if he understood what is inside Lu Han’s mind, he continue “Junmyeon is sleeping inside the car. Can hyung help me carrying him inside?”

It’s a bit weird right? He will be awakened somehow if they manoeuvre him too much…

But he found himself obeying the request and let the unwelcome thoughts slid out from his mind. He scoops the younger out from the back seat and carries him inside his. To his surprise, Junmyeon seem to be very deep in sleep, although there is some amount of movement that probably would have wake him up. Lu Han gently lies him onto the couch in the living room.

“Junmyeon hyung had cried all the day…he probably get tired..” Chanyeol starts the conversation once everything has been settled down, and they are a bit far away from Junmyeon.

“Huh?” Lu Han scrunches his eye brows. He knows that Chanyeol tries to explain the situation, but there is still something that left hanging.

Chanyeol grins a bit. “He misses you a lot that he cries. He wants to be with you during your birthday…”

A gentle smile plastered on Lu Han’s face. He obviously feels more than happy and grateful, but doesn’t show it to Chanyeol. He remains compose as usual. “Thank you for bringing him here. How about you? You can stay here for a night?”

Chanyeol glances at sleeping Junmyeon for a good few seconds, before replying, “Ah, don’t worry about that. I’ve book hotel to stay. Besides….” Chanyeol pauses, seems thinking about something.

“Besides?”

“Ah, before anything, happy birthday Lu Han hyung. Sorry, I couldn’t bring any gift for you, “ Chanyeol says, but still doesn’t exactly reply Lu Han’s question.

“silly, don’t worry about that. You, bringing Junmyeon here is more than enough…”

“Indeed, that’s the only best thing I can do. Don’t take it wrongly, but Junmyeon is really my birthday gift for you…”

“What do you mean by that?”

“The best man wins. Junmyeon hyung chooses you, hyung over me…”

“I…..”Lu Han couldn’t believe what he has heard from Chanyeol, is he dreaming right now? But the pain that he feels when he secretly pinches his own thigh tells him that everything that he has heard is indeed real.

“He hears you out, yesterday when hyung on air. Your feeling has reached him. Junmyeon hyung clears everything inside of him for once and all – his uncertainty, doubt, insecurity, and certain memory that haunting him. He has told everything to me. He no longer holds on his pass and wants to move on. It kinda difficult for me to let him go, but yeah…you deserve him better than me…”

“You’re not defeated by me, Chanyeol. You’re the best man on your own right, on your own way. You, sacrifice your own happiness just for Junmyeon…I think not every people can do that..” Lu Han genuinely words his thought, at the same time, comforting Chanyeol.

“Well, thank you hyung. Please take care of him for me. I just want Junmyeon hyung to be happy…” Chanyeol says, as he gradually makes his exit. But it seems that he hides a mischievous grin, Lu Han still able to figure it out despite it is so subtle. Once he pulls the door knob, he suddenly halts. “In case you might be wondering, Junmyeon hyung is still virgin…”

Lu Han blushes. This brat, he doesn’t even ask for it…well, may be he is a bit curious. Nevertheless, a faint smirk makes it way on his lip. “Well, thank you for keeping it for me….”Lu Han replies, joking around. Everything is over and has come to dissolution, a new beginning just about to be started. There is no need for him to be so dense at this moment, so he just plays along with Chanyeol’s antic.

“That’s just a joke…sorry if I was too much…” Chanyeol bows a bit as he apologizes. “Once again, happy birthday. I wish you all of the happiness. Have a nice on call…”

Lu Han chortles as he playfully smacks Chanyeol’s head a bit. “I know it is true. Thank you Chanyeol for taking care of him.”

Lu Han waits for the car to disappears from his sight before going back to where Junmyeon is. Lu Han smiles to himself as he sees the sight of sleeping Junmyeon; he looks too precious in curl up position. He still couldn’t believe that Junmyeon is here, with him…and they are alone tonight.

Because the couch can be turn into bed, Lu Han decides to sleep with Junmyeon in the living room. He takes few items from the bed room – pillows and blankets, and Lu Han carefully and silently work on it so that he does’t wake Junmyeon up. It just takes him a few small steps and effort before the living room transforms into temporary bed room.

Lu Han gently places Junmyeon’s head onto the pillow, and cover up the younger with the blanket. He lies down next to him, and he tenderly caresses Junmyeon’s face, looking at him fondly for one more time. He plants a small kiss onto Junmyeon’s crown, softly whispers “Thank you Jun for finally coming up for me. Good night, sweet dream. I love you…, “ before pulling up his blanket to cover himself.

Click..clock…click…clock

The sound of the clock wall resonated across the living room, and Lu Han feels likes it click right into his ears. Ridiculously, Lu Han just can’t sleep. It’s already 3 o’clock in the morning, and he just let the time passing by just like that; without doing anything – occasionally starring at Junmyeon, then turning himself right, then left, then looking blankly at the ceiling. Before this, he didn’t want to sleep because he wanted to wait for Junmyeon, but now, he can’t fall asleep because Junmyeon is sleeping besides him.

“Lu Han?”

Junmyeon’s voice knocks out his deep reverie. He feels the back of his shirt has been pulled from behind. Ah, Junmyeon is too cute!! The fact that his own name has been called by the younger, and it’s the first thing that coming out from him when he was waking up makes Lu Han happy. He immediately turns his whole body toward Junmyeon.

“Yes?”

“Is that you, Lu Han?”

“Yes, this is me, Lu Han”

“You didn’t sleep yet?…”

Lu Han chuckles for a while. “Not yet…”

“Why?…”

“I just can’t…”

For certain reasons, Lu Han’s heart swells. This kind of conversation – simple and innocent but yet fill up with so many emotions is what he is looking for. Junmyeon’s voice sound so small in his ears. He really sounds like a baby. It warmly tickles Lu Han’s heart.

“Hyung…can I touch your face again…”

Again, Lu Han’s heart bursts. The memory of their first rendezvous resurfaces in his mind, like a roll film. Junmyeon is going to do the same move. “Of course, “ he replies, as he brought both of Junmyeon’s hand to cradle his face. “Hyung, you’re very very beautiful….”the younger mutters slowly, as his fingers brushes every corner of his face. “I mean…your heart is beautiful, and I could see it clearly now….I’m sorry that I was too blinded by my own past that I unable to see how beautiful your heart is…”

“No, you doesn’t have to apologize. I know, it is difficult for you. Besides, I think, everything happens of a reason…” Lu Han says as he start to caresses Junmyeon’s face too.

“Hyung, happy birthday. May be Chanyeol has already told you, but I want to tell you by myself that I really love you, hyung…”

“I love you too, Jun”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t bring you any gift…”

“Auw..” Lu Han coos. “ But then can I steal the gift ====” Lu Han doesn’t complete his own sentences as he pressed his lips toward Junmyeon’s. Lu Han’s hands wrap around Junmyeon’s slim waist, holding him gently as if he was a porcelain doll. The kiss is innocent and soft but full of longing feeling that they have toward each other. Lu Han smiles in between the kiss as their lips easily mould against each other. “…….by my own…” he continues the remaining sentences once they finally break from the kiss.

“You didn’t even have to ask if you were going to steal just like that” Junmyeon pretends to get angry. He pouts cutely.

Lu Han softly chortles. Even under dim light, he could easily see faint pink of blush spread Junmyeon’s cheeks , ears and neck. Beautifil. Lu Han simply loves it. “I’m sorry, love. You are very beautiful and cute. I can’t help it, but I love you…” Lu Han confesses again.

“I love you too, hyung..’ Junmyeon shyly replies.

 

Click clock click clock

The clock’s needle is still moving around, but they don’t hear it because it feels like the time freezes and everything stops moving. And they kiss again and again, sealing their vow to be together till the end of time. They barely realize that, the sun already rises and some amount of it’s ray shyly seeps into the room.

Lu Han glances at the clock in between the kiss. It’s already 6 o’ clock in the morning. He silently smiles. He knows this time around, right now, he can’t fall asleep because to have Junmyeon by his side is the best surreal moment in his life that he just want to rejoice it to the fullest.

 

 

_……………_

_You know, I’m always on call_

_I know. Thank you hyung for on call._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
